“People live their lives bound by what they accept as correct and true. That’s how they define “reality”. But what does it mean to be “correct” or “true”? Merely vague concepts … their “reality” may all be a mirage. Can we consider them to simply be living in their own world, shaped by their beliefs?” ~ Itachi Uchiha
t334:
Spanish fashion designer invents cloths-spray
THIS IS THE RADDEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
holy shit
this seems like the most useful thing ever, forget clothing. Watch the video.
*GASPS HOMESTUCK COSPLAYERS*
THIS NEEDS TO BE A THING THAT I CAN FIND IN MY LOCAL WALMART.
Once they figure out the transporters, this is what will be needed next. Just. You. Wait.
my dad is making me go to a catholic youth seminar on June 1st, pay $10, listen to some shit about the Theology of the Body.
now when they say that, they mean
- Sex is bad
- gay sex even worse
- no sex, bc you die
- boys were made to be with girls and vice versa
so basically, i’m paying 10 to be yelled at about what i do with other men is bad.
DEAR GOD GET ME OUT OF THIS NO NO NO.
This is so not cool D= And he’s even making you pay for it? fuck that shit. :(
You will endure till you’re 18 and then go your own way.
You can think whatever you want regardless of who yells at you to think otherwise. Just be true to your own thoughts.
As a parent it is HIS responsibility to fork over the cash for his kid’s brainwashing.
If you are over 18 simply say “No.” He cannot force you.
- This morning there was a knock at my door. When I answered the door I found a well groomed, nicely dressed couple. The man spoke first:
- John: "Hi! I'm John, and this is Mary."
- Mary: "Hi! We're here to invite you to come kiss Hank's ass with us."
- Me: "Pardon me?! What are you talking about? Who's Hank, and why would I want to kiss His ass?"
- John: "If you kiss Hank's ass, He'll give you a million dollars; and if you don't, He'll kick the shit out of you."
- Me: "What? Is this some sort of bizarre mob shake-down?"
- John: "Hank is a billionaire philanthropist. Hank built this town. Hank owns this town. He can do whatever He wants, and what He wants is to give you a million dollars, but He can't until you kiss His ass."
- Me: "That doesn't make any sense. Why..."
- Mary: "Who are you to question Hank's gift? Don't you want a million dollars? Isn't it worth a little kiss on the ass?"
- Me: "Well maybe, if it's legit, but..."
- John: "Then come kiss Hank's ass with us."
- Me: "Do you kiss Hank's ass often?"
- Mary: "Oh yes, all the time..."
- Me: "And has He given you a million dollars?"
- John: "Well no. You don't actually get the money until you leave town."
- Me: "So why don't you just leave town now?"
- Mary: "You can't leave until Hank tells you to, or you don't get the money, and He kicks the shit out of you."
- Me: "Do you know anyone who kissed Hank's ass, left town, and got the million dollars?"
- John: "My mother kissed Hank's ass for years. She left town last year, and I'm sure she got the money."
- Me: "Haven't you talked to her since then?"
- John: "Of course not, Hank doesn't allow it."
- Me: "So what makes you think He'll actually give you the money if you've never talked to anyone who got the money?"
- Mary: "Well, He gives you a little bit before you leave. Maybe you'll get a raise, maybe you'll win a small lotto, maybe you'll just find a twenty-dollar bill on the street."
- Me: "What's that got to do with Hank?"
- John: "Hank has certain 'connections.'"
- Me: "I'm sorry, but this sounds like some sort of bizarre con game."
- John: "But it's a million dollars, can you really take the chance? And remember, if you don't kiss Hank's ass He'll kick the shit of you."
- Me: "Maybe if I could see Hank, talk to Him, get the details straight from Him..."
- Mary: "No one sees Hank, no one talks to Hank."
- Me: "Then how do you kiss His ass?"
- John: "Sometimes we just blow Him a kiss, and think of His ass. Other times we kiss Karl's ass, and he passes it on."
- Me: "Who's Karl?"
- Mary: "A friend of ours. He's the one who taught us all about kissing Hank's ass. All we had to do was take him out to dinner a few times."
- Me: "And you just took his word for it when he said there was a Hank, that Hank wanted you to kiss His ass, and that Hank would reward you?"
- John: "Oh no! Karl has a letter he got from Hank years ago explaining the whole thing. Here's a copy; see for yourself."
- ** From the desk of Karl **
- Kiss Hank's ass and He'll give you a million dollars when you leave town.
- Use alcohol in moderation.
- Kick the shit out of people who aren't like you.
- Eat right.
- Hank dictated this list Himself.
- The moon is made of green cheese.
- Everything Hank says is right.
- Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.
- Don't use alcohol.
- Eat your wieners on buns, no condiments.
- Kiss Hank's ass or He'll kick the shit out of you.
- Me: "This appears to be written on Karl's letterhead."
- Mary: "Hank didn't have any paper."
- Me: "I have a hunch that if we checked we'd find this is Karl's handwriting."
- John: "Of course, Hank dictated it."
- Me: "I thought you said no one gets to see Hank?"
- Mary: "Not now, but years ago He would talk to some people."
- Me: "I thought you said He was a philanthropist. What sort of philanthropist kicks the shit out of people just because they're different?"
- Mary: "It's what Hank wants, and Hank's always right."
- Me: "How do you figure that?"
- Mary: "Item 7 says 'Everything Hank says is right.' That's good enough for me!"
- Me: "Maybe your friend Karl just made the whole thing up."
- John: "No way! Item 5 says 'Hank dictated this list himself.' Besides, item 2 says 'Use alcohol in moderation,' Item 4 says 'Eat right,' and item 8 says 'Wash your hands after going to the bathroom.' Everyone knows those things are right, so the rest must be true, too."
- Me: "But 9 says 'Don't use alcohol.' which doesn't quite go with item 2, and 6 says 'The moon is made of green cheese,' which is just plain wrong."
- John: "There's no contradiction between 9 and 2, 9 just clarifies 2. As far as 6 goes, you've never been to the moon, so you can't say for sure."
- Me: "Scientists have pretty firmly established that the moon is made of rock..."
- Mary: "But they don't know if the rock came from the Earth, or from out of space, so it could just as easily be green cheese."
- Me: "I'm not really an expert, but I think the theory that the Moon was somehow 'captured' by the Earth has been discounted*. Besides, not knowing where the rock came from doesn't make it cheese."
- John: "Ha! You just admitted that scientists make mistakes, but we know Hank is always right!"
- Me: "We do?"
- Mary: "Of course we do, Item 7 says so."
- Me: "You're saying Hank's always right because the list says so, the list is right because Hank dictated it, and we know that Hank dictated it because the list says so. That's circular logic, no different than saying 'Hank's right because He says He's right.'"
- John: "Now you're getting it! It's so rewarding to see someone come around to Hank's way of thinking."
- Me: "But...oh, never mind. What's the deal with wieners?"
- Mary: She blushes.
- John: "Wieners, in buns, no condiments. It's Hank's way. Anything else is wrong."
- Me: "What if I don't have a bun?"
- John: "No bun, no wiener. A wiener without a bun is wrong."
- Me: "No relish? No Mustard?"
- Mary: She looks positively stricken.
- John: He's shouting. "There's no need for such language! Condiments of any kind are wrong!"
- Me: "So a big pile of sauerkraut with some wieners chopped up in it would be out of the question?"
- Mary: Sticks her fingers in her ears. "I am not listening to this. La la la, la la, la la la."
- John: "That's disgusting. Only some sort of evil deviant would eat that..."
- Me: "It's good! I eat it all the time."
- Mary: She faints.
- John: He catches Mary. "Well, if I'd known you were one of those I wouldn't have wasted my time. When Hank kicks the shit out of you I'll be there, counting my money and laughing. I'll kiss Hank's ass for you, you bunless cut-wienered kraut-eater."
- With this, John dragged Mary to their waiting car, and sped off.
Whenever anyone argues against marriage equality because of their religious views as a Christian I just want to hit them over the head repeatedly with a Bible whilst yelling
ADULTERY ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
LYING ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DIVORCE ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
DISRESPECTING YOUR PARENTS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORKING ON THE SABBATH ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
WORSHIPPING OTHER GODS ISN’T ILLEGAL!!
THE LAW DOES NOT FOLLOW THE BIBLE!!!!!
separation of church and state
doesn’t work so well
when it’s the church-goers controlling said state
BEST ENJOYED WITH HEADPHONES
LEFT EAR: Mandarin version.
RIGHT EAR: English version.
Enjoy the multiple eargasm…
AAAH YOU ALMOST MADE ME HAVE A LACK OF PERFECTION ON MY BLOG
YOU ARE SO LUCKY I AM AWAKE
HOLYSHIT
guys omg guys guys listen
whoa…..
Fun fact: That’s Jackie Chan singing the Mandarin version.
/casually listens to this the whole day
daAmn son
oh my god this is amazing
MY FACE WHEN I HEARD THIS
JESUS!
I now have a better way to remember my right and left ear buds.
OMG, I didn’t expect this, but omg!
Ok, that… was actually epic.
The greatest of the Disney pictures. I dare you to find a better one.
omfg asdfghjkl
Found a better one.
PRINCESS KUZCO DON’T KNEEL FOR NOBODY.
I’d work at Disneyland just for this
I still love the top pic best.
